My opinion: “Slum Dog Millionaire” was the best movie of 2008 and proved fairly accurate – except you can’t smell Mumbai’s open sewer system in the theater. It is simply amazing what you can’t know from 8000 miles away. …
In the spring of 2008, a company called WOA Records recruited me for a tour that promised to deliver a respectably broad 20-city tour of
It always starts with flattery and the allure of success. For those of you who have been selected through a SonicBids process, it’s kind of like seeing a Sasquatch – other people have reportedly seen one but it’s rare: a personal sighting. If unfamiliar with SonicBids.com, it’s a fee-based online gig resource allowing musicians to browse, search and submit to tours, clubs, festivals and other things in just about any corner of the world.
After I paid a $20 submission fee, WOA Records chose me for a 20-city tour in
Lesson One: trust that feeling in your gut. In retrospect, there were many clues that this tour smelled funny. When WOA rescheduled the initial start due to the Bhutto assassination, I began getting phone calls from other bands around the world that were, like me, preparing for the tour. Through Myspace, Skype and dozens of emails, bands expressed clear concern about the lack of details around travel arrangements, contract concerns, and performance details. The great unknown of
I remember Pete Saunders of WOA International saying, “Give me the names of anyone who has a problem and I will kick them off the tour.” Whoa, there, big fella … I figured that Mr. Saunders’ response represented a typical overworked and underappreciated overreaction, combined with possible cultural differences. Therefore, I handled it with an appreciative comment and continued forward. (Note to self, anytime respectful, clarifying questions are met with brutal threats of termination, something ain’t right in the Shire). Oh, SonicBids, you beautiful little oasis for all musicians’ booking needs. You bastion of value and champion of all things Indie, how hath thou forsaken me?
Eventually, WOA appointed a tour manager, Alan Alvarez, who published the tour itinerary, modified contract points and, along with Pete Saunders, gave reassurances that this is “how things work in
Lesson Two: Guns don’t kill people, cabdrivers do. The flight to
My Mumbai cab looked like a car on the outside but lacked most of the “vehicle identifiers” typically associated with an American car like gauges, a radio, or any other interior comforts like seat belts! It was kind of a big, dated-looking bumper car powered by a lawnmower engine … but this bitch could zip. Wow! I found myself being transported back to my childhood visions of starring in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” No rules, just rough roads and the mystery of the night. Instead of getting me to my destination, however, it turned out that cabbie had no actual idea how to get to my hotel and only spoke Hindi. Then, the yelling started.
Whether it was his frustration over being stuck working the night shift, or that he was lost at
After a day in the big city we excitedly headed south to
Stay tuned for next month’s installment, “A Passage to India: Part II.” Here’s a primer:
Q: What do Pete Saunders, Alan Alvarez and Prometheus have in common?
A: They only exist in mythology.
Follow along with this article on xiren.net/India
Also look for Xiren’s column, “Breaking the Fourth Wall,” in next month’s CMB
