Sex Rx: Stay Classy, Girlfriend

by Amandha Gilson

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I went to a house party a couple weeks ago after not having attended one in almost a year. I’ll admit I had tried to steer clear of them once I turned 21 and was able to vary my social drinking/partying environment. This house party, in particular, was described to me as a wine party,  serving only their classy, dressed-to-impress group of close friends. A good DJ friend of mine was hosting the party, so my invitation was welcomed with open arms.

Upon entering the house and seeing his equipment set up, I could tell that getting your groove on was the main focus of entertainment for the evening. There were no drinking games or beer-pong tables to be had at this classy event. As you would imagine, wonderful box white wine was served in the classic Solo cup as a preemptive attempt to prevent carpet stains. Guys and girls alike were dressed to impress, and boy, was I impressed by a few of them, guys and girls!

While admiring the curves and cuts of all those around me, I realized that everyone there knew each other quite well. The comfortability between everyone before copious amounts of alcohol were consumed led me to believe that each person had either been to this party before or had partied with these people before. Thankfully, I had come to know quite a few of the people at the party at shows or bars, so I definitely did not feel out of place. If anything, it made me feel safer that this house was filled with people who knew each other, rather than one of those “ragers” where things get stolen, fights break out and people get hurt, either physically or emotionally. Knowing this, I will admit, I let myself drink a little more than usual (that’s five drinks for me!), and I think this is where a lot of other girls made their mistake, too.

The idea behind and the social nature of this party, if anything, exacerbated the desire to drink and drink some more, as conversations were light, merry, and laced with stories of past drunken Mixer shenanigans. Voices started low, and quickly raised in volume as the DJ played some house-thumpin’ music that couldn’t be ignored. I’d say about three to four cups of wine were consumed in relatively quick succession to release these girls’ physical nervousness and to allow for less-inhibited movement on the make-shift dance floor. A couple of hours into drinking, hips started swaying and arms started raising as the music began to drown out conversation.

As the hours wore on, so did the number of empty boxes of wine. Around midnight I really started to wonder what happened to all those pretty ladies. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to kick off your shoes while dancing; yes, heels can be hard to groove in with carpet beneath your feet. It’s all right and somewhat sexy (given the right dancer) to bring out a coffee table and stand on top of it to showcase your dancing talents and gorgeous figure. It’s OK to run outside in the freezing weather because you can’t take the heat in the house anymore. It’s fine to ask your friends for a cigarette (even though you don’t smoke) as you try to keep your eyes steady and open. It’s humorous to watch you blatantly make out with your guy friends (whom you have NO intention of ever kissing, sleeping with, dating, or otherwise, when sober). It makes one raise an eyebrow to see you stumble around the house, bouncing off walls and knocking things off counters. But it really makes one lose respect for you when they see you passed out on a couch, legs open, and panties (or even titties!) hanging out when you’ve finally had too much to drink.

This is where the proof to my point lay. These girls, who were so nice and thoughtful, became something that deserved to be put into a shower until they washed off the alcohol monster they had become. How they got to that point should be apparent: It was a house party with all their friends, and deals were made that included the statement, “I’ll look out for you if you look out for me.” Well, what happened was both girls making that statement got too drunk. All four of them were passed out on a couple living room couches in inappropriate ways, with such a depth to their passed-out nature, they were not stirring with all the commotion around them. So who was to look out for them at that point? Who was supposed to make sure they got home OK? What if this house party wasn’t full of “good friends,” who, by the way, just pointed and laughed at what they saw, because they, themselves, were all so drunk it was more funny to point at the situation than a concern to be taken care of?

DO NOT EXPECT YOUR FRIENDS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU! You have take responsibility for yourself to make sure that, at the end of the night, you can somewhat consciously look around and make your next move.

The mistake these girls made was not to drink more. The mistake, to me, seemed to be the trust that was placed in everyone around the house. The idea that I can drink more because I have all my friends and girlfriends here to look out for me didn’t seem to hold a candle to the fact that everyone else in the house was just as drunk as the girls making this internal statement. Maybe if everyone drank just enough to get a buzz, then yes, she could have relied on her friends to make sure she didn’t become sloppy, but this went out the window as soon as the wine-goggles were put on.

To their credit, guys are usually a little harder to gauge in drunkenness, so I couldn’t really say if their goggles were totally masking their judgment throughout the night. However, I wouldn’t place any responsibility on any guy to help me keep my composure. Most times I feel guys don’t really give a crap either way if their friends will look out for them or not. I think there is less concern for being taken advantage of (or they want that to happen!), and less concern for personal well-being in general, aside from getting home alive, so this internal statement of responsibility being put on friends never really becomes an issue. I am not speaking badly of guys when I say that. I feel they have an understanding that if shit fails, it’s their fault, and they don’t put any responsibility in their friends. This is why I make the point to all the ladies out there.

These girls shouldn’t have gotten to that degree of inebriation. They should not have had someone else look out for their consumption and should have paid more attention to their own actions. Why would you want to get that wasted anyway? All the sexy and fun goes out the window at that point. Maybe a rough day or life may have been the reason, but please, if that is your reason, at least show a LITTLE respect for yourself. You are here on this earth for a reason, and it is NOT to be THAT drunk girl at the party (on a side note, for all the concerned ladies out there, I covered the girls up, not even knowing who they really were, but hoping someone would do the same for me if that ever happened). So I make this final call to all the lovely young ladies out there: Please, as always, drink responsibly, and stay classy, girlfriend.

Tags: sex rx

Category: Noco Music Scene